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About Twin Souls / Twin Flames


How do I know I’ve met my Twin Flame?

What is a Twin Soul (Twin Flame)?

Twin Soul (t. Flame) signs

Three types of Twin Souls (t. Souls)

Purely spiritual Twin Soul

Sensual Twin Soul

Intense sexual Twin Soul

+ the non-incarnated Twin Soul

The purpose of Twin Soul (twin flame) separation

Are Twin Souls (Twin Flames) meant to be together?

When is it time to leave someone I thought to be a Twin Soul?

Spiritual work for Twin Flames

What if my Twin Flame is married or I am married to someone else?

What is the difference between a Soulmate, Twin Flame and Twin Ray, Essence Twin, Androgyne and other terms?

In the following, I will be talking about Twin Flames and Twin Souls interchangeably, although some people give them slightly different meanings. Generally though, they are understood as one and the same.

How do I know I’ve met my Twin Soul / Twin Flame?

Everything about your emotions toward a Twin Flame is exaggerated or unexpected. It is probably safest to say, that whatever you are feeling, your feelings seem to be inexplicably strong; be it lust, love, adoration, wrath or let’s say; need to own them. Not everyone falls directly into the phase of acceptance and love with their Twin Flame, but they go through awful times of struggle; love/hate, fear, doubt, denial, anger… In-build knowledge that this person will be the death of them and inability to stay away. There are more than one type of Twin Flames, too, and THAT adds to the confusion.

There are different ways for Twin Flames to become aware of each other, and sometimes the denial is deep so it’s not safe to describe the moment of meeting as the guide to “how you know”. The feelings will develop in time in some cases, but the end result, the part when you know that you have met the Twin Soul and you, yourself have arrived to the moment of acceptance, you know that this person, to you, is irreplaceable, and deep down in your heart, when the moments of doubts subside, you know they love you too, regardless of what your relationship (or the lack there of) looks like to the outside. You know their happiness means everything to you, and you would gladly give up your happiness if that would make them happy. You know they owe you nothing, but that you would give everything to them, never asking for one thing in return, although that wouldn’t stop you from quietly hoping for something.

Twin Flames also share this sense of belonging together, even when they are not together or everything is not perfect, they simply know they do belong together, and that no matter what amount of work or time it takes, getting there would make both of them happiest. At the same time, they wish what is best for each other, and deep down know that what is best for them is they, themselves, although a lot of Twin Flames reject that knowledge cognitively and decide to leave (run) from that connection rather than try and see if the other one feels the same way. One way of knowing is to decide which sentence is more true: “I need to snap to my senses and stop this madness and stop thinking about this person” or “I need to stop this madness and stop wishing for someone better, this is who I’m supposed to marry” or “They need to stop running from me, because I want them, and I need them!” Only the first example points to a Twin Flame.

There is a lot of opposing feelings in Twin Flame relationships, love vs. hate, fear vs. safety, belonging vs. wish to run, intense sexual desire fighting with the profound need to not ‘defile’ the one they love (big reason for running in puritan cultures). A lot of emotions are extreme and run from one end to the other end of the spectrum.

Twin Flame’s most intense type, True Spirit Mirrors love each other because of each other’s flaws, not despite of them. Other Twin Flame types (more later) love each other despite their flaws, not because of them; a “Near Twin” loves the other by editing out their flaws in their mind (blind love) and Healing Spirit Mirror sees all flaws and loves the other despite of them even though they wouldn’t approve of those flaws and wanted to help the other to overcome them. True Spirit Mirrors reunite only after a person is entirely satisfied with who they are, warts and all, and would not change who they are for anyone or anything, and that is when they fall in love with someone who loves them for those carefully chosen character traits, some of which are traditionally regarded as “flaws”. (Such as vanity, anger or cockiness.) Other Twin Flame types are supporting our growth towards the person we want and need to become, while the True Spirit Mirrors will have to wait.

What is a Twin Soul (Twin Flame)?

Most often Twin Souls (Twin Flames) recognize each other and fall in love at first sight. Although different theories explain this phenomena differently, it feels like you had met your “other half”, “the right one”. People who have met their Twin Soul have hard time expressing the depth of their emotions towards this person, and find it completely impossible or at least improbable that they’d ever meet another person who would come close to this connection that they feel towards this person; the feelings are nothing they’ve felt before. One of the strongest signs of a Twin Soul is that you will feel the need to write your experience into a book or a movie, because the normal romance story simply doesn’t even compare to what you experienced.

The Twin Flame web sites usually recognize only one type of Twin, or they talk about all types interchangeably making it very difficult to pick the right type of advice to go with the type of Twin in question. Depending on the type of Twin, the emotion is either profoundly sexual or it maybe complete, unconditional love, or it is a combination of intense sexual desire and love both at the same time. The latter is called a True Spirit Mirror, the second a Healing Spirit Mirror and the first can be several different types.

Twin Soul (t. Flame) signs

Note: not all apply to all people, and they vary depending on which type of Twin Flame we’re talking about, some signs even apply to non-Twin Flames, and that is where the confusion comes from. However, the signs paint a picture:

Love at first sight

Fear (bordering on terror) at first sight

Connection at first sight

Feeling of ‘history’ together – past lives

Feeling like you’ve met yourself in another body

You really like them (even more importantly than love them)

All Sexual Taboos disappearing (everything goes) or They never “fuck” but make love

Knowing who to look for before meeting

Running behaviors (for whatever reason; applies to several types of Twin Flames and lesser soulmates)

Strong sexual attraction (or indeed:) No sexual desire, at all

All emotions are intense

May alter sexual preference (straight to bi, gay to bi)

Strong admiration

Love to look at each other

Talent (creativity) increase

No jealousy

Complementing personality

Shared goals

Being Best Mates

Explosive, irrational breakup(s) (Rational, grown up breakups are usually a sign of a lesser connection)

Makes you feel insufficient (in comparison to them)

Runner/Chaser roles may reverse

Hate first, learn to adore

“Soul Bubble”

Chakra pull

Aligning birthdays, birthmarks, etc

Sexually liberating


Unlocking of psychic powers (intuition)


Vivid dreams

Shared dreams (night type)

Ability to “touch” from vast distances

Look alike

Similar mannerisms and facial expressions

Sudden/natural improvement of diet and habits

Repeating numbers (111 and 1111 are commonly connected with Twin Flames but others apply, such as their birthday being repeatedly “shown”.)

Three types of Twin Souls (t. Flames)

Fri, 24 Jan 2014 14:37:48 +0000

There is a slight disagreement in the Twin Soul ‘circles’ about what Twin Souls actually feel like. There seems to be three distinct different types involved, that are quite easy to differentiate.

Purely spiritual Twin Soul

The purely spiritual Twin Soul is someone with whom you feel ‘above sexuality’. Your relationship exists in another dimension almost. Sexuality isn’t a part of your relationship, which is based on absolute love an acceptance that feels no boundary. This is a highly spiritual union of two souls that come together to service humanity and make the world a better place. This Twin Soul couple can also be a mother and son or father and a daughter or brother and sister.

Sensual Twin Soul

A sensual Twin Soul is a type of Twin Soul that you feel utterly comfortable in every way. When you make love, you join in God’s divine grace and your souls soar at this union. This relationship is of absolute love and devotion, with no demands, expectation or drama – this is utter bliss of two halves becoming one. They appear into your life just when you need healing and energy, and they pour that into you endlessly.

Intense sexual Twin Soul

The intense sexual Twin Soul is another matter completely. Fierce, energetic, sometimes even violent, turbulent and confusing – this relationship challenges you to the core and requires everything from you. Sometimes called false Twin or Karmic soulmate, this is a very misunderstood type of Twin Souls. Their sexuality is fierce and they read each other’s minds. This is a scary relationship that usually is interrupted by an awesomely stupid fight or a separation forced upon them by a third party. This is the love that we are taught and told to avoid but that we all secretly wish for.

+ the non-incarnated Twin Soul

can be either of these three, but is simply not in the physical form. One of them is in the non-physical form, and the other one is going through the life lessons given to them in the physical. It is the purpose of the non-physical Twin Soul to help them solve their life lessons. VERY RARE; even in cases when you SEEM to have found a non-incarnated Twin Soul, they are most likely simply not there with you in the physical realm but have an incarnation somewhere in the world. Good news; you may meet later on.

The purpose of Twin Soul (twin flame) separation

Fri, 24 Jan 2014 14:46:07 +0000

Twin Soul separation seems to be the most UNFAIR thing that could happen to you, and I wholeheartedly empathize with that statement! It’s like Why would God bring us together only to throw a spanner in the works and then make us go separate ways? It doesn’t make any sense! And then, you know someone loves you to the last inch of you, but for some reason they won’t admit it, or they stay with their girl/boyfriend or spouse although you have told each other that you are the most important person to each other. These relationships are confusing and dumbfounding, and you feel like you have lost your mind half the time. The longer the separation lasts, the more you question your sanity and your ability to know anything about love! Sadly, this is often when people do give up on the romantic notion of passionate all consuming love and marry someone they think is a wiser choice for a long term relationship.

The Twin Soul separation, especially of the True Mirror -type, doesn’t happen in order to push you to a spiritual growth or anything. The fear phase is a genuine reaction that will take over anyone who has any insecurities about the relationship or themselves. Many of us are so wrapped up in our own perspective of the relationship too, that we can’t see their side of things, making it almost impossible to say what happened. A lot of the times there’s a lot of hurt feelings even though nobody intended to hurt anyone, things were said that didn’t get heard the way that they were intended, or no words were said where lots were needed. Fear makes us do all of those things, or leave things unsaid and undone although they yearn to be said or done. The separation phase happens as a natural progression from this, and although a new opportunity will be organized by the Universe (Fate, God, the Great Enabler, whatever you want to call it), there is no guarantee of a successful relationship if you both aren’t mature enough to control your fears and insecurities, or even work through and concur them entirely.

These insecurities are formed largely in our culture as well. “It’s just a crush”, “don’t mistake lust for love” and “she/he seems mental” are very popular remarks by people who simply do not understand this connection – and the vast majority of people don’t understand it, INCLUDING people who have had some experience of it, and ironically including people who TEACH Twin Soul -theories. There are a few reasons for Twin Soul separation, but what to do about it is what counts. To make sure you know what you want. To make sure you act from your true wants, and to make sure you won’t run from what you want the next time you see it, simply because you’re too afraid to try your luck.

In another situation, the separation has more to do with timing than insecurities, but make no mistake, your self-confidence is ALWAYS an issue with Twin Souls (or it isn’t a very strong connection). The timing, in some Twin Soul cases has to do with making everything ready for a ‘flying start’ so to speak. You will work to make the circumstances right, at the same time as you do active spiritual work (work on your own spiritual and psychological authenticity) towards a reunion. Often, when people start on the spiritual path, they lift their goals to something more than just marriage and children or a heated affair, and that is why spiritual work, although making the ultimate reunion more rewarding, will also make the reunion take another route. Often, without spiritual work, the Twin Souls will reach emotional maturity and sufficient self-confidence at a fairly late age (~50), (we’ve seen it all and rejection doesn’t matter that much anymore) but through spiritual work fairly young Twin Souls can achieve reunion because they are consciously work towards it.

In other words, there is rarely other purpose of separation, it’s more a reaction to your current state of self-confidence and self-awareness in relation to what your relationship needs in order to get started or continue. The separation time is not MEANT for self-reflection or self-development, but it would be wise to spend it in that pursuit. Each meeting with your Twin Soul gives you an opportunity to try to reconnect, and will fail for as long as one of you allow fear and doubt dictate your actions. In your heart you know, but your mind plays tricks on you (and your Twin) and that is what you must overcome; to learn to listen to your own gut-feeling and your own intuition rather than the words of “gurus” and “guides” and other well-meaning but misguided souls. This is your relationship, and although others have experienced similar stuff, it is up to you to figure out what it is in the end In Your Case.

Are Twin Souls (Twin Flames) meant to be together?

Fri, 24 Jan 2014 14:54:22 +0000

In a sense; Yes, all Twin Souls are “meant” to be together, but that is not the complete answer, life is a bit more complicated than that, and what is generally considered a sure sign of a Twin Soul, might not be one. There are parts to these relationships that most Twin Souls do not know or don’t want to know, and the vast majority objects to it at first if they ever accept it, because at first it seems unromantic and upsetting. Twin Souls certainly don’t have an obligation to be together, but if they truly are Twin Souls, they want nothing more. There is more complications to this than that; Twin Souls don’t always come in pairs of two. Also, they are not a result of a split soul, although they certainly feel that way. Do you remember what it feels like when you try to tell someone who hasn’t met their Twin Soul what that is like? It’s like squeezing water out of a rock; completely pointless most of the time. People simply don’t believe that you’re for real. I feel the same way when I try and tell Twin Souls that “You know what… There’s more than one, and I love them with every cell of my body and to the last fibre of my soul – and each one is just as irreplaceable than the next.” “Oh they’re Near Twins or soulmates – you haven’t met the real one yet.” They’d protest, and I’d sigh. “Yeah. I’m sure that’s what they are, thank you for listening.”

If it was true that Twin Souls only come in pairs, it would so suck for the people who have a parent or child for a Twin Soul (it happens), and those who have a non-incarnated Twin Soul. And those who are bisexuals. But you know, when they say “the Universe is perfect” they don’t mean it really, it means that you just have to adapt to the perfection of the Universe, and assume that the Universe will know what is best for you whether you like it or not.

Na-a, I say. That is not how it works.

The Universe is perfect, and as that, it needs to be complicated. We are amazingly complex creatures, us humans, and each of us is different. That is why nobody can take our place nor be better at being the person we are. That is why sometimes we must love more than one person, because how do you choose between several perfect individuals? And, it also means that each of our relationship is different, because you cannot apply the same formula of a perfect relationship to different kinds of people. One likes the mother, one likes the daughter… Some like both! (Okay that was an unnecessarily incestuous comment in this context but you get the idea!)

The Universe is deliciously complicated place and not everything is meant to be simple. In fact, the more experienced our souls get, and the more we trust each other’s love, the more complexity we can handle in our love relationships, and the more challenge we lust for. When once it was important to know there will only ever be one, turns into a bit of a non-challenge, and we just want a bit of drama… Juuust to see how we’d get over all barriers and obstacles to find each other again. And as you find each other, you probably swear never to part again… and then you decide to add a few more complications for the next life because getting back together after all that mayhem felt so good!! (Also, complications add up just as a result of multiple life times.)

That’s why the word “Twin” is a little misleading, but also probably intended to pose yet another problem to overcome. How will you work things out if you believe you’re only ever meant to love just one person, or you believe they’ll only ever love you? How will that preconception change things for you? Will you reject the idea completely and only ever love the first you find, or will you be open to challenging the idea and consider opening up to the possibility there is more Twin Souls to love? Which is more romantic, rejecting other equal lovers even at the state of an idea you have been known to love in past lives, or welcoming them all with a full trust you can find the perfect way to live the way you were “meant” to? How would you feel to know that your Twin Soul somewhere out there, is refusing to even see you because they already met one that meets “Twin Flame criteria” without knowing that your bond is even stronger? (You, and them, can block each other from meeting for any reason, you know, for instance, a man who is married would want to block all women he deems too hot to handle away from his life, to avoid the reputation of a cheater.)

The most amazing thing is that what ever crazy things we dream about and want for ourselves, the Universe always finds the most amazing way to make it happen for you. Trust me, I did NOT believe I could have the love of more than one man if I wasn’t prepared to share them with other women… but it’s possible. (It’s called Polyandry and it’s fabulous for everyone in it – if they’re into it!) It is also the most amazing thing, that when you learn to put yourself aside and consider what you could do to make THEM happier, you find that what makes them happy also makes you happy. Their desire becomes your desire. You find in the most amazing way that what you both would choose on your own you will also choose together, as your needs and wishes align perfectly. There is no compromise needed, only honesty and willingness to look beyond the norm.

With your True Mirror Spirits, you can have your cake and eat it too.

When is it time to leave someone I thought to be a Twin Soul?

Mon, 27 Jan 2014 01:52:11 +0000

Sometimes, we misdiagnose Twin Soul signs and attach that label to a person who wasn’t that. There are nuances about these relationships that the Twin Soul theory doesn’t cover too well because of one reason: Shame. When someone who has been blogging about their Twin Soul relationship realizes they’ve made a mistake, they are unlikely to start declaring it out loud, for a variety of reasons. They don’t want to make you doubt your relationship just because they made a mistake of thinking someone was their Twin Soul when it wasn’t. They don’t want to admit having had such romantic feelings about someone who wasn’t a real Twin Soul, so they bravely admit “it wasn’t meant for this life time.” They avoid the topic and move on to other things. The rest of us never get to hear the “oops, made a mistake” bit, but we still heard their story thinking it was that of a real Twin Soul. It’s an ego thing. 😉

There are many reasons why we might mistake someone for a Twin Soul when they are not. The most obvious reason is that the Twin Soul theory is severely lacking in detail and accuracy. It misses one major point: People are different, and different people need different things. It also attempts to explain these emotions with the most unromantic part of the theory; we are split from the same soul and therefore we never love another person the way we love ourselves… And that means we have no choice in the matter of who it is we end up with, given that there can only ever be one. This means we will never be able to DESERVE love, it’s yours without their control or your achievement. You could be a shadow of your current self and still be seen as the most amazing person alive. I know to some people that idea is comforting, but there is nothing as depressing as that to an Ancient Soul who has done their work and deserves to be loved for what they have achieved.

The Spirit Mirror theory, a part of Free Spirit -theories, explain this bond by independent souls evolving in such a way that they choose to be *this way* and the people who have made the same choices and complimentary choices are the people who became your True Spirit Mirrors (Twin Souls) and you simply click. Your lives become complete, because they bring into it the exact thing that you needed, and then stuff you didn’t think you did. And there can be several. And the best part: You are all free to evolve and change into directions that you all independently choose because the goal is not for you force yourselves to stay together forever because you need to join into one permanently, but the goal is to find the true you, the authentic you that makes life on Earth Heaven for you.

That doesn’t mean True Mirrors are likely to part, no. My oldest True Spirit Mirror has been with me since a time before the dinosaurs, but he did that even though he could have chosen anyone else on this planet. He COULD HAVE, but he didn’t, he chose me, for ions and ions of time. How much cheaper would that be if he was just my other half and could not choose otherwise? What kind of marvel is it, when I know he could choose anyone but he ends up choosing me, over and over, out of all other choices?

There are several types of Twin soul bonds that are all often labeled with one catch-all Twin Soul -tag (and then labeling the weaker bonds as ‘soulmates’, but a lot of the time people can’t decide which individual is their Twin Flame and which is their soulmate, because the assumption is there’s only one Twin Flame, and yet I know how easily people put the label of a Twin Flame to any old, established soulmate that has a deep connection based on habit rather than true love). A lot of the same signs apply, the emotions are similar sometimes, but there is one thing that makes a difference between a True Spirit Mirror and an established soulmate in a relationship: A True Spirit Mirror bond is easy and natural once you have mutually accepted and surrendered to your love (or more to the point, learned to lighten up and not put everything down so heavy) and your relationship is simply unavoidable. You have too much fun together to stop. There’s no need for spiritual retreats to keep the love going, every moment of your lives is making the bond stronger, because you are right for each other. You don’t have to learn to “love yourself in them” because nobody in this world would be dearer to you. It’s not that you don’t see yourself in them – you do, that’s why I call them Spirit Mirrors, but once you have accepted that you are meant to be, nothing can tear you apart. Of course, the start of the relationship is far from easy because everything is so intense, and you have to be absolutely authentic with them – you can’t fake one thing, not the smallest, and you cannot let others change your personality for you and you cannot allow soul attachments that alter your personality or behavior; attachments that make you different from who you are. Your True Mirror loves you for who you are, and if your personality is altered even to the slightest of degrees, they will reject the part of you that isn’t you quite strongly.

This is not the case with Partial Spirit Mirrors or Healing Spirit MirrorMirrors, both of which are often mistaken for True Spirit Mirrors, as in Twin Souls. They are both intended to be temporary, especially healing Mirrors, that come into your life to heal you – hence the name. Once you are healed, this bond is naturally trying to unravel or cool off, but we are often so much in love with the idea of a Twin Flame, that we don’t let it unravel and we try to hold onto this bond for the rest of our lives and “fix it”. When it starts to unravel, it is time to let go. If you both realize this, you will always remain best of friends and most important people to each other, no jealousy, but if you try to fight the natural end of this relationship, it can turn ugly and the other must run away from it never to return for anything but a quick fix when the world has turned harsh on them, but they’ll be gone again once they’re healed. If you don’t fight it, you will be able to return to each other without fear of getting trapped, and you can leave without hurting each other again just to gain the freedom you need. These relationships do no work under the rules of societally accepted heterosexual life long monogamy. Those are human-made rules, rules made by OTHER people and other generations, but we still thrive towards this ideology as if it was God’s word. In a sense, this bond is permanent, but the relationship is not supposed to be monogamous life-long marriage-like thing.

The Partial Spirit Mirror is a type of “Twin Soul” that is sometimes called a Near Twin in the theories. They are, for the most part, perfect for you, but have qualities that you don’t quite like or that don’t mesh well with your personality traits. Mannerisms that irritate you are often a sign of a Partial Mirror, but not the cause to reject them. If their personality is right, you’ll learn to associate those mannerisms to the one you love. However, your personality traits are slightly different, for example, one of you wants a child and the other one doesn’t. A definite deal breaker. (Yes, ladies, men do want children, too, or they don’t, same applies to women; not all women want children. It is an absolute fact that this is where a lot of people go wrong.) Another example: You might love people and talking to people, but your supposed Twin Flame suffers at parties. There’s nothing wrong with them – they’re just not your Twin Flame. Often this stuff is so small, that it seems petty to worry about it, and it maybe given an explanation that these qualities are the stuff that you hate about yourself and just can’t see them in yourself. That is not true. These are simply qualities that reflect a miss match in ideology. For example, my Partial Spirit Mirror  has habits and movements that talk about his ideal of “being genuine” or “real”, unpretentious. My ideal is to perfectly refine every movement so that no awkwardness can be seen to the outside no matter what happens in the inside. My True Spirit Mirrors are the same; Every movement they make is precise and refined, speaking of nobility. We are like a different dog breed, each one truly lovable, but people who love bulldogs don’t tend to love spaniels as much and vice versa.

When you notice something is starting to irritate you about the other person, or you don’t like the way that you are or feel in that relationship, or you feel the relationship has run it’s course, that’s when you can start looking to leave the relationship. You might want to study the Personality Mirror Soulmate Typology a little closer to see how that resonates, and make up your mind later. You have the permission to doubt. That doubt is there for a reason, and you need to be brave enough to see what it’s about. The reason might be that you are actually perfect for each other but you just haven’t opened up a part of the relationship that needs to be discovered before it’s perfect. One reason why True Mirror Spirit relationships dubbed as Twin Flames fail ALL THE TIME is the false idea that you have to be into New Age to make it work. True spirituality means trusting one’s instincts and intuition and living from “the gut” (no words) but New Age and other religions (it’s a religion these days) require cognition to navigate through it and the true spirituality is lost. Whenever there is a “must” in a sentence, it’s usually a bad sign, unless it is “you must trust your instincts”… :) In short: If you need words to be explained what you need to do but you find it difficult or unpleasant, it’s cognitive not spiritual, but if the words liberate you to do what you already know to be true, it’s spiritual.

Spiritual work for Twin Flames

The most important aspect of Twin Flame reunions is authenticity. The “spiritual work” you do, should reflect an attempt to regain this state of authenticity, to live a life the way you want to live it, not as you were advised or ordered to. It is about growing up into a person who cannot be controlled by his parents or higher authorities like a child, but takes their own path in life like a grown up. This is the absolute must for you to understand, (ignore what I just said above! 😉 ) Authenticity is a state of being that makes you who you are right now, in this life time, in this moment; no better no worse. Authenticity is a state of mind when you stop trying and start being. It means you give up the attempt to be something you’re not and sometimes it’s really difficult to identify, but whatever you find difficult or unpleasant to do is inauthentic. And yes, this includes getting up at 7 am just to make it to work on time. Inauthenticity means that you are playing along societal expectations and hold a higher value on other’s opinion of you than who you truly are. New Age and religion is rife with inauthenticity, pushing people toward self-denial and a certain “spiritual box” that has little or nothing to do with a person’s real self. Whatever you are tempted by is about who you are (drugs and alcohol included, although I’d still caution from going down that route if you want to reconnect with your Twin Flame, because both are a replacement for love and can keep you apart, but they are, still about you and probably tell a tale of high need to be loved or experience BIG emotions).

I highly recommend learning to use Tarot for self-discovery, you can use them much like “ink blots” whatever you see in the card tells you something about the situation and your real persona. Shuffling them still helps, but you don’t need to learn the meanings of the cards – in fact it would be best if you had no idea. (Of course you need a fully illustrated deck of cards, otherwise it won’t work at all.) Ask yourself a question like “why do I have this odd feeling in the pit of my stomach?” and turn a card over to find the answer. It should start getting clearer right away.

A lot of spiritual texts describe the state of authenticity to be that of a “perfect soul”, which, in turn is described as kind, loving, trusting, higher being, kind of Jesus-like. That is not what an authentic soul is. Your soul is you but in a non-physical form. It is perfect the way it is, but not in the human sense. God sees you as being perfect, that’s why he keeps saying that, but you are allowed to be imperfect in human sense, as long as you are you. If you enjoy car racing, don’t you dare replacing that with studying crystals in the name of spirituality – there is nothing as spiritual as enjoying something! If you enjoy sex, it is a spiritual practice, even if there was no “noble intentions” involved in it whatsoever. Do whatever it is that you enjoy or feel you must do; breaking plates against the wall included. Connect to your anger, hurt, resentment, fears, and allow them into your being. All of that is spiritual work. Blocking away negative energies or “dark forces” will be harmful to your authentic being, because there’s always darkness in all of us, and it is an authentic part of who we are. Also, not allowing it to pass will build it up, and the darker your soul becomes! If you only ever allow yourself to express love and compassion, all that hate, anger and frustration keeps building up and you will only turn darker yourself!

As far as Twin Flames go, especially the True Spirit Mirror type, they can only ever love the real you. A man who loves fast cars, rock n’ roll and mischievous mayhem won’t love you if you start messing with crystals and spirit clearing incense instead of hanging in the mosh pit with your tits half out… I mean he will love you but he just can’t stand you if you force yourself into that sort of thing if someone forces you to. And, if you fell in love with a man who loves fast cars, rock n’ roll and mischievous mayhem, you’ll feel more than deceived if he sells his cars, starts listening to ambient new age and instead of mischief starts running a homeless shelter (after cutting his hair and buying a tan suit instead) and keep preaching how much happier he is now, when all you can see in him is force and self-denial. (As an addition to your personality those things may work quite nicely, but don’t replace/reject your old, true persona with an artificial spiritual persona you create like a magic potion in order to get your Twin Flame back.) Also, adding stuff to your persona in general is quite okay and encouraged, but rejecting a part of yourself, no matter how unspiritual it may seem, is not okay nor beneficial. A great example of this is Russell Brand, who you may know, who is rejecting big parts of his personality in favor of pursuing spirituality and enlightenment, and thus he’s making his True Mirror Spirits (that are numerous) tear their hair out in frustration and fear of losing him to the light side of life. Then again, if that is what he wants to do, then a loving True Mirror lets him go and wishes all the best – but hopefully he is choosing spirituality because he enjoys it and not because he feels he has to. (And yes, he does enjoy it, but enough to reject the rest of himself? I wonder.) Interestingly, his True Mirrors, who are also spiritual, mind you, hold the keys to his call for revolution, so… He just might be smart to let up a little. :p But I’m rambling.

Spiritual work should always aim towards discovering the true you, the authentic you. Look at it this way: We have an endless time here on the physical plane. There is no end to time in sight… It may well never end. It would certainly require some form of a miracle to make this miracle come to an end. It might change shape and physical laws before it comes to a complete end, but anyway: We are looking at billions and billions more years of life, and that means you better get used to the idea of hanging around for a bit longer. Our goal is to figure out a way to live forever without getting bored to death! We must look at this from the point of view of our immortal soul – don’t you often feel that you don’t have time to become who you want to become because you’re already 40 or 50 and time is running out? Well, if you start now, your next incarnation will be much better off, don’t you think? And, also, weed out any friendships or family relations you don’t want to keep nurturing, because the same people will take advantage of you the same way they do now for as long as they can, so get busy NOW!

What if my Twin Flame is married or I am married to someone else?

Marriage to someone else is the most common obstacle between Twin Flames. It sometimes happens that Twin Flames meet, and 6 months later one of them panics and marries someone else. This is because meeting one’s Twin Flame makes us conscious about the need to form a permanent, deep relationship to someone, but we feel our Twin Flame is out of reach or too much work and unlikely to be able to offer us the stability and deep permanent connection that we need.

Many New Age sources claim that we don’t have children with our Twin Flames and we are not necessarily supposed to marry them either. While I agree with the latter statement, because I don’t believe in marriage at all, I cannot imagine a better place for a child to grow up other than be the child of a Twin Flame couple. The chances of Twin Flames giving birth to a non-suitable child is minimal, because both parents belong in the same soul group and therefore their soul children are drawn to that union too, unlike with non-Twin parents, who may attract some “orphan child” who needs to get a rough start in life with parents who do not understand him or her in order to find their own strength and own feet, they are born in a family of miss match parents. Sometimes only one of them fit in together with the child, sometimes both parents are a misfit to the child. However, I digress.

Unlike many Twin Flame resources say, I do not believe in the outright entitlement of a Twin Flame to mess in their pair’s marriage, due to the fact I do believe in multiple Twin Flames, and therefore the other Twin may already be married to their other Twin Flame, even if they are not blinded to the other one, who is an equal match to their spouse. (I also know that there is more than an ample possibility to mistake a well-fitting soulmate for a Twin Flame, too, and “I’ve never felt like this for anyone else” is not a good enough sign.) That is why regardless of what happens between you and your married Twin Flame, you shouldn’t assume you have the unquestionable monopoly to your Twin Flame especially without meeting their spouse first. If your Twin Flame tells you he or she wants out of the marriage, then it’s okay to go forth with the relationship, but if the married Twin Flame decides to stay married for whatever reason, a loving Twin Flame will have to work on their own position in the matter and work towards letting go of this love, or make sure they will be worth divorcing the first spouse for. This requires a lot of spiritual work and self-reflection, but if the love is true, that is what you’d do. Having said that, the result of that spiritual work may end up in an unexpected place, including that you might find another Twin Flame or the actual Twin Flame you didn’t know you had, so it is well worth the trouble in all cases.

Then, about that marriage… It really depends on who you are what you should do about it, regardless of any moral points of view I or anyone else might be making. What would YOU do? This is not a question of what would Jesus do or what I would do or what someone else might do in your situation, the question here, like everywhere else is what would you do? Who are you as a person? Your actual Twin Flames will love you for your authentic choice, and reject you for a choice that belongs to someone else, they want you to be YOU. It is entirely possible that they want you to rescue them from a marriage that doesn’t make them happy, or they may want you to not interfere and allow them to make their own calls and handle their own marriage the best way they know how and trust them. Actual Twin Flames ALWAYS choose the same thing when they choose from their core, their authentic self, but lesser soulmate need to use tactics and guide books to some extent in order to be right for one another. Always choose from YOUR wants and wishes. What would you do? What do you want to do? Do that – even if that would result into you not being loved here, it will attract the one who would love you for exactly that.

What is the difference between a Soulmate, Twin Soul, Twin Flame and Twin Ray, Essence Twin, Androgyne and other terms?

All of these terms aim to describe the same phenomena of soul bond lovers, (including friends and family members). As the term soulmate became well known, it got watered down due to simple popularity and over-usage, when “soulmate” first meant the one and only lover who reincarnates with you from life time to life time, in popular use it started to mean anyone with a deep connection to you, and then again as a term of “politeness” attached to more or less any nice person; a true friend. The term Twin Flame is starting to suffer the same fate due to the lack of recognising the different types and therefore having to “accommondate” more experience under the same term. Therefore people who recognized the difference between that and divine, sacred and much more intense bond than normal, good relationships started using the terms Twin Soul and Twin Flame more, to differentiate from the less intense love affairs that now most spiritualists know as Soulmates. Twin Soul, to most people, means the same thing as a Twin Flame, but to some it’s the same without the sexual connotation. To some, there is more of a difference, but in general use, these terms are interchangeable, and a simple question of preference. It would be interesting to know who exactly coined the terms, but the idea of it comes from an unexpected source. Aristophenes, a comedian, who was a guest at Plato’s symposium, although using the term “Antrogyne” (ManWoman) described this bond by saying:

“And when one of them meets with his other half, the actual half of himself, the pair are lost in an amazement of love and friendship and intimacy and one will not be out of the other’s sight even for a moment.”

The part “the actual half of himself” points that he coined a humorous description of love that would later re-emerge in the form of Twin Flames, he described one soul split in half. A further difference in “Aristophane’s Twin Flames” is that Androgyne halves were said to become a completed combination of a male and female, a third gender, a human being who has found their other half and now lives as one person, a person without a clear gender, but with two sets of arms and legs and two heads, so that’s something to thrive for. 😉 Unfortunately Aristophane’s humorous speech is now generally confused with Twin Flames (even I went along with this before I checked my sources, I apologize), but it really has nothing to do with Twin Flames to be honest. He simply described the same connection and gave it a very wild, explanation intended humorous, however this MAY WELL BE the origin of the Twin Flame idea itself.

The term True Spirit Mirror describes this same phenomena, but is a wider concept that recognizes the variety of genuine, deep and intense soul bonds that exist between people. The Spirit Mirror theory basically wiped the confused and chaotic slate clean and started over, trying to explain these soul bonds within one theory. The Personality Mirror Soulmate Typology is not being presented as something given from the spirit world; it is not a result of channeling, but it is a human-written, logical, more scientific than spiritual effort to explain true love. (Although spiritual aspect was in the key position to go about the studies.) The major difference between Spirit Mirror and Twin-alternatives is that Personality Mirror Soulmate Typology accepts that there can be multiple simultaneous and equally strong bonds and the bond is created as a result of the connected souls being individuals with exactly matching needs rather than a split soul. The intensity is created through multiple life times spent in close, intimate contact or connecting exceptionally deeply within one life time. Spirit Mirrors have been divided into different types, each describing different types and stages of each soulmate connection.

Sometimes, Twin Ray’s are used instead of Twin Flames and Twin Souls, but it refers to an unincarnated Twin Flame, as in the half of the soul that hasn’t incarnated into the physical. The Twin Ray halves exist within each incarnated Twin Flame, but some believe they never incarnate at the same time, and physical love between Twin Rays doesn’t exist. (Granted, I’m a bit sketchy on the details and how it works, but there’s a clue if you want to do more research into that one.) In my view, unincarnated Twin halves or soulmates are extremely rare, and when they occur, they are short time solutions, apart from partners who love this type of separation.

Yet another Twin Flame -like theory exists in the form of Essence Twins and similarly to Spirit Mirrors is a separate attempt to explain the phenomena. The main difference between an Essence Twin and Twin Flame (and Twin Soul) is that the Essence Twin theory ties together with other Michael Teachings -theories, similarly as how Spirit Mirrors tie in with my own Free Spirit theories. The Essence Twin theory doesn’t support the idea of a soul split in half, but is, in that regard closer to the Spirit Mirror idea, albeit that it limits these halves in male-female energies and a pair of two connected for a “Grand Cycle” of life times. They are talking about the same “Twin Flame” phenomena, and they also have found an equivalent of a non-sexual Spirit Mirror, that they call Essence Mate. Like many New Age theorists, the Michael Teachings believe in a “completion” of physical experience, after reaching a level of enlightenment, I do not believe there is a completion, if there is an end, it is up to the individual to decide when they’ve had enough. Michael Teachings version of twin flames is also a result of channeling a group of souls that call themselves “Michael”. (They are not the angel, simply a group of souls that decided to give themselves a name for the sake of simplicity – and regret the choice of name due to constant confusion with Arc Angel Michael, and as of late, Michael Jackson, too! That, I channeled. 😉 )

Given the different views on these relationships, I thought it would be wiser to start using my own term (Spirit Mirrors) rather than try to correct the other theories to fit my understanding of these relationships. The Personality Mirror Soulmate Typology is the ONLY theory that I am aware of that recognizes polygamous and same-sex soul bonds to be of equal spiritual value than the norm of one female and one male halves, arguably in addition to Soulmates that are the closest concept to Spirit Mirrors, provided that the intensity level of what now is known as a scoffed-at Soulmate bond would be lifted to the standard of Twin Flames (and even above, in some cases).

In essence ALL of these terms are trying to define and explain the same spiritual phenomena that occurs when people bond with each other on a deep level. Your aim should be to use the term that best describes and reflects your own experience, your beliefs and value systems, as long as people will be able to understand what you’re talking about, obviously.

The origin of Spirit Mirrors come from the Twin Flame / Twin Soul background. Spirit Mirrors attempt to explain the same phenomena as Twin Flames, but it is more precise, evolved much further and has removed some myths and superstitions that simply do not hold water.

The biggest points to consider are:

  • Personality Mirror Soulmate Typology considers heterosexual, homosexual and bisexual connections to be of equal spiritual and emotional value
  • Both monogamous and polygamous relationships are of equal spiritual value
  • The True Spirit Mirror connection is a combination of two major factors:
    • Absolute or potential 100% compatibility (for as long as nothing authentic clashes, you are on the way to even higher bond; fights caused by fear, misunderstandings and insecurities are normal)
    • Life times spent together; getting tighter and tighter bonded and more intensely intertwined and inseparable
    • Mutual choice to combine lives (being ready to)
  • There are different types of soulmate connections, some are fiercely sexual, some are absolutely non-sexual and most fall somewhere in between (Partial Mirrors).



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Alternative to Twin Soul / Twin Flame ideas

The Spirit Mirror Soulmate Typology is a modern theory of love that respects both the spiritual and physical aspect of these connections and attempts to give a more mature explanation to how it all happened than what can often be found in Twin Flame circles.

Read more at Sebastyne.com


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