I teach Twin Flames at theXblog.org
There is clearly a Twin Flame denial phase that can be identified in the way most Twin Flames interact. Denial is a state where you simply blind yourself from the truth because you do not want to see it the way that it is. Now, all you Twin Flame chasers must face one fact that is more than blatantly obvious: The Twin Flame chaser has at least one MAJOR possibility to be in a deep denial themselves, and this is it: What if who you are chasing is not your Twin Flame and they don’t actually love you? This is the first question to ask yourself: Do they love you, or are you in the process of forcing them to love you because they are your Twin Flame? If you are hesitant in saying that they love you, then, the most obvious answer to the question of which one of you is in denial is you. Why? Because Twin Flames always know, even if they are trying to tell themselves that they are deluding themselves, that the other loves them. If you feel already that they do not, you are chasing a Mirage Spirit, and it is you who is in denial of that fact, and no amount of Twin Flame signs will change that for you. If you do not feel their love for you every time you look into their eyes, this is not YOUR Twin Flame but somebody else’s entirely and you are heading straight towards being that woman or that man…
Real Twin Flame denial has several REAL motivations that I wish to outline:
- They need to keep a promise to someone else (marriage) and to make their life easier, they deny any feelings they might have for you. Remember that this is always a denial of feelings, not a denial of a Twin Flame connection, which is, simply an explanation/description of the feelings, not a thing in itself. 😀
- Loving you is some kind of a taboo, and they do not wish to accept that they are the kind of a person who would love a person like you, ie. same gender or, for instance, someone married, a drug user, perhaps someone of the wrong racial background, or a too close family member… and the list goes on.
- They are afraid that you do not love them back, so they deny their feelings for you out of self-protection.
- They are simply afraid of giving into their feelings because they don’t know how far and how fast it will all go and they feel they will self-destruct if they allow themselves to feel all the love and desire they do, in reality, feel for you.
What Twin Flame denial is NOT about:
- A Twin Flame in denial is not about them not being in love with you but since you want them to be they are in denial of the fact you love them. This person probably knows and understands you love them, they simply don’t want you in that way. (Did you understand that? That was not a clear sentence!)
- Twin Flame who is in denial is not about your right to dictate who should love you, related to the above. You cannot tell someone to love you simply because you would like them to. (Time to grow up.)
- Twin Flame denial is also not about God having decided that you two are meant to be together and now the other one is running away from God’s order. If they are your Twin Flame, they love you, and cannot help it, if you need to force or beg them into loving you, you are NOT with a Twin Flame.
How to break through the Twin Flame denial phase
There is always need to try and get through the other Twin Flame, and there is a tactic that most people try and use with terribly bad results: When you pretend that you are not really that into them, either, they will actually believe you quite easily and will retreat. They will go deeper into their own denial because they don’t want to risk their emotional balance on someone who they can’t have and who doesn’t want them. The internal denial dialogue commences: “I am not that into them. I actually don’t like them. It’s only physical.”
The best way to unravel the Twin Flame denial phase is to leave them in control. If this is truly your Twin Flame, they want you as much as you want them – if they don’t they are not your Twin Flame and you lost nothing. (Easily said, right?) If they deny you, tell them that your feelings for them won’t change and that they can contact you anytime should they change their mind. Or, just leave them with your phone number or give them any casual “my door is always open” -gesture that they cannot misread. (Avoid mincing your words in a way that someone who loves you through and through might interpret as a gentle rejection. No joking about “here’s my number but I might not answer!” because they will take it as “I won’t answer!”)
Love letters are a very popular way of screwing this up. 🙂 I did the same thing… Several times. XD The reason why they’re so popular is that you can offload everything at once without having to face them. The reason why it backfires is that you just offloaded everything without facing them. 😉 You sort of fry their circuit board; you overload the grid, it’s too much, too soon, and the first reaction is to blow the fuse to stop the system destroying itself: “NO. I don’t want them. They are crazy. Nobody who is SANE would write shit like that to someone they barely know. I’m better off without them. Just my luck… etc.” Twin Flames in denial are going to go deeper into the denial through receiving a love letter, especially if it is close to what they wanted to hear in the first place. Too good to be true sounds like a trap to most people. Here is a good rule of thumb when dealing with a Twin Flame denial situation: If you cannot say it to their face, they are not ready to hear it. Do not handle things in writing, anything beyond “I really like you” is an overkill. (If you could say the same thing to their face if they were there, it’s OK to write it, but if you know you could never say this in their face, do not write!!)
The denial phase unravels itself on its own in time; we age, we depressurize, we get more comfortable with who we are and what we really wanted and felt, life becomes less serious. People put less pressure on you to be a certain way and you simply accept what you lost was what you lost and you put it down to youthful idiocy and you just allow things to be the way they are; “I am 55 and I am still in love with the same person I looked in the eye once when I was 20” and you accept that as the undeniable truth that no longer offends your fear of being a love-sick fool because who cares if you are, right? Let’s hope you are both single when this happens….
Check out this long-winded video of mine on denial in general if you have a half an hour to waste: